Events around the Sports Games are needed that will delight and benefit everyone in the true Olympic Spirit, although they may not come within the present Olympic regulations. Suggestions below include ideas for an Arms Race, OzOlympics as SkillOlympics, and International Yogi events as in a 'Tibetan' competition reported on Internet.
Improvements in the Medal Tables are suggested.
Media coverage can be itself more competitive, to accord with the Olympic ideal and to please our present government policy. These media events can be held anytime, including before or after any Sports Olympics, so that tourists are encouraged to Olymptrip all over Australia. Events need not be on the official calendar.
Suggestions have been made for new events, such as Darts, Snooker and Foot-in-Mouth. Others include:
Useful sports. Such as
See also SkillOlympics
1. The Table of Gold
A Table of Gold set next to every final Olympic Medals Table would show how much each country and sponsors spent on training hopeful elites for those Olympics - Institutes of Sport, training athletes from childhood, specialist coaches and psychologists, medications for sports injuries, etc.
These sums would not include what a country spent on sports open for the whole population to take part in for their health and enjoyment, so this table would not penalise countries with large populations. Some countries might concentrate all their Olympic funding on a few sports, but from an international point of view it is good if every country, however small, has a speciality which gives it a chance to hold up its head in this great international geffuffle.
The usual Table of Medals and the new Table of Gold would at present almost match - although not quite. The more gold a nation spends, the more Gold it gets.
National Cost per Medal. The Medal Table would also have a third column, to show how much each country effectively spent per medal on producing its elite Olympic Team.
The Improved Olympic Medals Table
The Goldest Medal
Goldest Medals for the Honour of Nations could be awarded at the finale of the Olympic Games.
Records could be established, each calculated as per 100,000 population.
At Atlanta in 1996 for example, it was the International Year for Prevention of Poverty so the Goldest Medals could have been awarded to the countries for
And so on.
The Goldest Medal total assessments could be related to GNP of each country. The greater the disparity between Goldest Medal and GNP, the greater the shame for the nation.
Media Medals are 1.Gilt 2. Tinsel. 3. Brazen.
Every country should have competitive, not monopoly reporting of events, with tat least two media rights-holders for each medium.
One media rights-holder's presentation should emphasise the original spirit of the Olympic Games:
Its straightforward, informative coverage of events would recognise
The second media rights-holder would follow present trends
Then the breathtaking competition would be to find out which mode the Great Viewing and Reading Public turned out to prefer to view and read in each country. Could the first rights-holder gain the bigger audience? Or should there be a Senate inquiry into the Dumbing of Australia if the second media presentations won our viewers and readers?
At issue is the prospect that if every nation gives coverage almost entirely to the exploits of their own nationals - then what price our Australian glory if only Australians are going to know about it? Is Sports Glory simply to distract Australians from our failures to perform and achieve as a nation in other areas of life?
For lowest rates of:
For highest rates/ numbers of
Contests in useful skills for modern life
The problem. Modern Olympic sports have limitations that make them in one way obsolete. They focus on the skills of the warrior and hunter - the running and leaping and throwing and hitting, the records for going fast and high and far and hard, and for teams like hunting bands.
CONTESTS BETWEEN GOVERNMENTS
Medals for -
EcOlympics could be a TV Reality Show. Well, it could be.
It is about two things - Living with Least Waste, and Having a Good Time. One without the other is a miserable state of affairs.
We have SportsOlympics, and there could be SkillOlympics - and there could be EcOlympics.
SportOlympics is to see who are the champions who can go fastest, highest, longest - and other physical measures of speed and strength.
SkillOlympics is to see who are the champions in a wide range of useful skills. People watching them can pick up those skills too.
EcoLympics is to see who are the champions at living with least waste while having a Good Time.
How to run an EcOlympics.
The call goes out that this Reality Show is going to select finalists in say, nine months. Anyone can enter. At the end of the nine months, entrants send in their estimated scores on 20 measures of Living with Least Waste and two pages explaining how they do this and still have a Good Time, plus pictures if they like. Twenty finalists are selected as having both high scores and representing as wide a range of life-styles as possible, in ages, household composition, culture, size of income, and where they live.
Each finalist is videotaped on a day of their choosing, to show how they are achieving Least Waste. This will be edited down to 25 minutes for TV. Each finalist can choose the ten measures out of 20 measures of Least Waste they would like to be scored on in the final show.
The series will be shown over eleven weeks, with a studio audience, and if possible, entrants live on stage to answer questions after their segment is shown on screen.
Half the studio audience rates the entrants' segment of Reality TV on their 10 chosen measures of Least Waste, with ratings out of a possible top score of ten, and the other half rates them on an index of Having a Good Time. Each entrant's summed Least Waste measures is then multiplied by their Good Time score, to get a final score. So someone who scored a total of 100 on the Least Waste measure but only 5 on the Good Time score would have a final score of 500. Someone who scored 50 on the Least Waste measure but 10 on the Good Time score would also have a final score of 500. So it is important that the winner's way of living Least Waste is shown to be good fun, not a way that inflicts misery and incites rebellion.
TWENTY MEASURES OF 'LEAST WASTE'
HAVE A GOOD TIME
Bedtime story for Australian Politicians to Read to ChildrenOnce upon a time there were three fairies - a small fairy who lived in a microscope, a middle-sized fairy who lived in a many-coloured glass bottle, and a very large fairy who lived in a sunset cloud. They liked giving people wishes, to see what they would do with them.
One day, they had had very bad luck with their wish-giving. One man had wished for a sausage while he thought about what he wanted, but then wished to send it back because it was a frankfurt and then used his last wish to get a salami sausage instead. So that was his three wishes gone, just to get one salami sausage. A little girl spent all her wishes on fizzy and lollies, and her father had spent all his wishes on doctors and dentists to make her better.
Then Tinia, the micro-fairy, had an idea. "I am bored with giving wishes that people spend on gold and jewels and pretty hair and sausages. Let's ask several people to make their wish at once. Then we will give the wish to the person who makes the best wish. "
Media, the bottled fairy, thought this was a good idea too. She soon had the idea all worked out. "We could have a Wishiad, or WishOlympics," she said. "We will be the judges in a panel, like they do in skating contests on television. We three magic folk will each have a set of cards with numbers going from one to ten. After each Human makes a wish we will hold up our cards with the number of points for each wish. We will give points out of ten. Then the wisher with the highest total of points will get their wish granted."
Tellastar, the space fairy, sent the news around the world. Of course, hundreds of people wanted to be in the WishOlympics, and thousands wanted to watch the show. The three Fairies put up a great mist-woven tent on the edge of the great grey desert by the sea. Soon there were long queues to the door.
Most of the people were wishing they were higher up in the queue and nearer to the door to get in. What was their surprise to find suddenly that they were all back at home. The fairies had disqualified them at once, as not being good enough wishers. Too Washed out even for Watching Wishing.
Many of the other people were wishing they could think of a good enough wish to be winning wishers. The fairies did not think much of that wish, either, and soon they were back home too. Too Wishy-washy to be Winning Wishers.
Some fellers were grumbling already, because they wanted the wishes, but they did not like fairies. " It is not cool to think of getting wishes granted by fairies that live in dew-drops and bottles and goldy-pink clouds! Well, wishers can't be choosers, we suppose. But we wish the the fairies were respectable monsters, or vampires, so we would not feel so silly. "
The three fairies thought that was the silliest wish of the lot.
"Humans are always criticising other people for things they cannot help being. It's what we do that matters, not what we look like. Just because we have rainbow wings and golden hair and skin like rose-petals is no reason to say we ought to look like old boots with legs on their soles."
The fairies sent the fellers straight back home, with red stripes on their necks, and footprints on the back of their T-shirts. When people saw them, they cried, "You've been bitten by a vampire!" "You've been trodden on by a monster!" The fellers did not know what to think - or what to wish either. But of course, it did not matter what they wished.
After that, there were not so many people in the queue. There were only about five thousand. They all fitted into the seats for the audience inside the tent. The seats ran around a big circus ring, where friendly animals like coyotes and possums were making music to keep them amused. The fairies had a big box near the front.
"I hope the animals get well paid for all this music they are doing for us," thought Miss Sprim. Instantly, there she was, standing in the middle of the ring, on a small circle labelled First-Wisher. The fairies were holding up their number cards - 7, 8, and 9. Miss Sprim had scored 24 for her Wish, without even realising she had made it. Her number went up on a giant scoreboard near the roof.
"I hope I can do better than that," thought Mr Muckletoes. Instantly, out he stood, on circle number Two. The number cards went up - 0, 0, 0.
He wished he could disappear back into the audience, but no luck, he had to wait until all four people in his heat had made their wish.
"I wish my turn would come quickly," thought Shaun Wayne Jason. Suddenly found himself standing on circle number Three. His score went up, 0,0,0, no better than Mr Muckletoes.
"I hope Miss Sprim wins - she looks as if she needs something to cheer up her poor pale face," thought Norm MacPopolos. Instantly out there he was, standing on circle number Four, and his score was 10,10,10.
And his wish was granted! Miss Sprim won her wish.
And Norm MacPopolos won his wish too.
The afternoon went wonderfully. The winners included Bobby, who wished the great grey desert could blossom again - and it did.
Coriander wishes there were no more wars - and there never were.
Jimsha wished nobody would ever be poor again - and nobody ever was.
Timiliki wished the doctors would find out how to cure everyone who was sick, but Mr Smith won with a better wish than that - that people would not get sick anyway.
Even a little tortoise won one of the contests. Everyone cheered him, but he was so shy he crawled slowly away under one of the stands, starting very very slowly to wish the wish he had won with - but he was so slow he never finished it - and nobody now remembers what it was.
The fairies were getting very tired and bored. Some of those big wishes were very hard indeed, even for fairies. When it was nearly time to stop, one of the last contestants was Sally, and she wished there would be another WishOlympics soon. But suddenly, there on circle two was the tiniest fairy, and she was wishing there would not be another WishOlympics for quite a while, as she was so tired.
This made a problem for the other two fairies. How could they judge this one? Suddenly Media had an idea. And there she was, standing on circle number three.
And her wish was that everyone would be able to judge their wishes well enough themselves before they made them. And then the fairies would not have such a hard time trying to judge them, because only very good wishes would be made.
Suddenly there was a great rush of bat's wings. And there, swooping down like a pterodactyl on circle number four, was the Fairy Horrabil. And she made a terrabil wish, fixing everyone with her magic spells. "I wish that I will be the judge of all the WishOlympics from now on!" Heh, heh, I will only grant the really bad wishes! she thought to herself.
Nobody had expected the Bad Fairy to come with her magic spells. They had no counter-spells ready. The strong spell worked on everybody in the tent, and up on the screen came the scores, slowly, sadly, sent up by her magic spells. 10. 10.10. The Fairy Horrabil was going to win, and her wishes would be worse and worse.
She was going to judge all the Wisholympics from now on! And she was so Horrabil that she would only grant the really bad wishes! Like turning jelly-lollies into slugs, and turning flowers into broccoli, and making everybody in the world get hay fever.
Everyone else in the tent started wishing like mad, to try to stop her being able to make wishes and grant wishes - but none of them worked.
The tent collapsed - the first bad wish was working.
The tent was wobbling up and down as people tried to crawl out from under and go home. What a sad end to a happy day! The fairies fled.
The witch sat there, happily, holding on to the tent pole, which she was about to turn into a monster broomstick.
Suddenly she began to feel a bit funny. What was happening?
She began to feel really funny. She was beginning to smile! What was wrong? or what was right? She began to laugh.
The little tortoise who had hidden under the stand, too slow to make his own wish, was suddenly jolted into making a really great marvellous wonderful wish - even better than the wish he had won with.
The little tortoise wished what? He had wished that "The the Fairy Horrabil would turn herself into the Fairy Honorabil instead" .
And there was the new Fairy Honorabil, sitting there, happily, holding on to the tent-pole, which she was about to turn into an even better tent that expanded from the pole like an umbrella from its stick, in a thousand colours with a thousand lights dancing on them like stars.
The Fairy Honarabil loved holding WishOlympics, so the other fairies never need get tired - and all the wishes that were won were well worth wishing.
Now you make your wish, and you too may be given a number, to say how good your wish is. If you are lucky, your wish may come true, one day.
Here are some of the classic questions that were asked of the
Sydney Olympic Committee via their Web site, and answers suppled
Q: I have never seen it rain in Australia on TV, so how do the
plants grow? (UK)
Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
Q: Which direction should I drive - Perth to Darwin or Darwin to
Perth - to avoid driving with the sun in my eyes? (Germany)
Q: I want to walk from Perth to Melbourne - can I follow the
railroad tracks? (Sweden)
Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia?
Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places
to contact for a stofd porpoise. (Italy)
Q: Are there any ATMs in Australia? Can u send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK)
Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)
Q: Do tents exist in Australia? (Germany)
Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female
population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
Q: Do u celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France)
Q: Can I drive to the Great Barrier Reef? (Germany)
Q: Can u give me some information about hippo racing in
Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can
dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)
Q: Can u send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)
Q: Are there places in Australia where you can make love
Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
What jumps higher than Whoever it was? The foreign debt
What clears more than an American hurdler? A Queensland farmer.
What gyrates more than a discus-thrower? A politician.
What tumbles more than a Romanian gymnast? Manipulated share prices.
What cycles round more than a bike-rider? The same old policies
What screams more than an Olympics crowd? The murdered land.
What glitters more than an Olympics closing ceremony? Fools' gold.
What lifts more than a Bulgarian weight-lifter? A duststorm in a food-bowl.
What drives more furiously than a racing-car? The money-market
What hypes more than a Olympics sports commentator?
Reflections in a stream of consciousness (That is to say, a very rough draft)
1. Olympics and Shipwrecks
A Greek ship hit the front page. It shipwrecked on a rock while the crew was watching soccer. Australia has been watching Australia winning Gold Medals at the Olympics, while drifting further to the rocks. Other Gold Medals are lost overboard..
While the Olympics played, the Australian dollar goes dramaticly low. This means that our country, its land and its businesses are cheaper than ever to be bought by overseas interests. The government has no way of stopping the sales and take-overs. Another major icon, Penfolds, risks being sold overseas. Over 90% of the corporat component of our food processing sector is now in foreign hands. Even FOOD !As our manufactures are shut down, and we have to import what we cannot make, imports cost us more because of our low dollar.
Our foreign debt goes higher than ever.
The big corporats of the World Trade Organisation continue their campaigns to open all countries to their economic domination by 'free' trade.
The share price of Telstra goes down so that big buyers will be able to make a bonanza from the second sale, as our great public asset is sold far below its value.
Does all this matter? Yes. A country dominated from overseas and heavily in debt must inevitably submit to overseas demands, as happens to the 'undevelopd' countries. The demand on Australia will be to become the toxic waste dump of the world. And we will not be able to stop it.
The enormous Olympic flame burning on in the dark was a fine and splendid spectacle - but it was a pity that it was so literally a symbol and an exampl of how we are wasting our resources.
2. Sacrifices to the wrong god
The President of the Olympics left his dying wife to attend to Olympic duties which others could have taken over. She died alone, and then he returnd from the funeral to continue to be in the Olympic spotlight. Was this a noble sacrifice of personal duties for greater ones? Or did it symbolise the sacrifice of other people?
"I have had three operations in the last five months. But the sacrifices have been worth it." The sportswoman got a Gold Medal - but the abdominal injuries may be permanent. And many other stars made similar remarks about their injuries. There could be a list of Olympic injuries and operations. We cannot make a list of the drugs.
Insted of being predominantly the fresh young faces we have been used to seeing in Olympic events, what a high proportion of older athletes with ravaged anxious faces. Yet they were still only in their late twenties or thirties. - I will not forget the face of the Chinese diver who must have made a milion dives. He lookd tragic.
3. 'Pleasing by a fine excess'
'Nothing too much' Ancient Greek advice
The best things carried to Excess are wrong: Charles Churchill
Wasteful and ridiculous excess: Shakespeare
It is a reproach to religion and government to suffer so much poverty and excess William Penn 1693.
The Olympics are great as a brief excess. Everybody can turn away from the locusts and the saltpans and cheer everything in sight that is ephemeral, trivial, dramatic, schmalz and full of laughs and tears, all within the bounds of an arena. The Olympics are about excess - but they are also ruind by excess. The ethics of Olympics are to contain that excess. The excesses are when 'the Olympic spirit' is in fact, killed. The hype, the 'all-time greats'.
Here are the beautiful, the young, the bodies that are strong and fast and lithe and brave. The Olympic flame was carried round the world - what joy and enthusiasm and frendship went with it.
A good binge is a brief excess. Dionysius has his fling. But if Dionysius keeps on flinging, the noise and hassl become discordant, and there will be vomiting.
There are Gold, Silver and Bronze medals. There are also Black Pits and Rotten Pits and Crazed Pits. See what may wallow in the Pits, as if Dante had put them there.
4. The unequals
In order to get the umpth of human skills, we have the umpth of tecnology added to them. So its not really just the human skills.
Only rich or distorted-perspectiv countries can pay for the training conditions for so many events today. The black man wins where the cost is least - such as running - but even there the training costs are becoming very great on human flesh and money.
But Olympics archery is not with a simple bow and arrow, nor is shooting just with a gun - the equipment is high tecnology. High tecnology also are the fancy suits, the fancy shoes - the fancy drugs. The ancient Greek Olympic athletes competed quite naked.
Gold, silver, bronze - traditionally there are ethical subtexts about all these greedy, meretricious and hard metals. It is interesting that in the histories of Herodotus, that early Greek historian, he always took care to note when one of the players in his history had also been a winner of an Olympic prize. Laurel wreath, do you wither, after hundreds of years?
Victorian State Library and Commonwealth Games OzOlympics
(trying to get a name for a web-site that would be trapped by every search engine)
4. SOME SKILOLYMPIC COMPETITIONS - which would look good televised:
How to: First very rough ideas for practically non-cost operations if interested geeks, nerds, guys, weeds, swots etc can be found to join in. Starting now means that publicity now and ongoing can help get the State Library improvements that you want. And at least these ideas can stop people being stuffy.
1. WEBSITE: NAME. Victorian State Library and Commonwealth Games OzOlympics (trying to get a name for a web-site that would be trapped by every search engine!) Short title on URL - what you like. This website can still include home-page and other pages dedicated to the State Library, but people can trip into the pages while looking at others.
2. Server VicNet Run by - only someone who can put the stuff up and add a few pics and cartoons. Needs no expensive jazzing up. Links - all sorts of, going from a home page.
Heading - cartoon of the strip of pavement that has State Library sinking into Cerberus, with several learned heads and Kilroy also sinking alongside. (Sketch available)
Pics of various wondrous aspects of State Library past and present, and cartoons - the old Melbourne Punch must have had some. and our local artists can do more.
I have a pic can be improved showing Deskilling in Libraries, with the de-skilled laborer turning old library books into papier mache, with sign 'Get your Paper Bricks from the State Library' Also people sheltering from flak under books and newspapers to show that Books and Print do have their uses.
'The issue of the day carries other issues on its back' You can make sure that every issue of the day carries the State Library on its back, including the Commonwealth Games.
There was so much emotional language used in reporting the Atlanta Olympics, that it was amazing that journalists could keep it up so long . In a four-page newspaper feature reporting a days' Atlanta Olympics. Over 70% of the emotional language was negative. Only 29% was positive, with a ratio of 260:106. Much of the negative language was incompatible with Olympic ideals - such as:
Some reporters put far too much emphasis on ruthlessness, aggression and no mercy, and even made criticisms if'harmony had replaced success as team motto ' or that 'there were no biting words' after a defeat.
If reporters felt bound to be emotional, they could at least seek some sort of balance, and let their outlook on life include more of: